It Ain't Easy Livin' Green

For our Fourth of July holiday this year, we decided to stick close to home and just lay low. For us, that means we do exactly that—we lay, and, and we do it low, on the floor, the grass, the sidewalk. You get the picture. A climb to a couch or a lawn chair is generally too much work for our holiday regime. Anyway, lest you think we didn’t accomplish anything at the ole’ homestead, we did, on occasion, walk. Over the course of the long weekend, we took approximately 15 walks, 10 of which required packing a small bag of supplies, meaning, we planned to walk past the front porch. This past-the-porch carryall generally includes a sheet (for the inevitable relapse into prostrate position), a bottle of water, snacks, sunscreen, Children's Benedryl in case of a sting, snacks, diapers, wipes, and snacks. If we're going further than the end of the block, double the length of that list. Over the miles we logged, I found myself nodding to fellow walking families and feeling a swell of pride in our reveling over the simple things and keeping the roads clear of our fumes. Though I'm the least 'green' person I know, I was even able to imagine myself finally getting on the bandwagon. And then my delusions came to a screeching halt by our six-year-old son.

Son: Hey, do you guys know that houses AND trees are bigger than people?
Me: Yeah, you're right. Can you think of any trees that are smaller than you?
Son: Oh yeah—baby trees!
Me: Right!
Husband: And what are houses often made of, son?
Son: Wood!
(Husband is obviously trying to build even more confidence in son's powers of observation and analysis by helping him connect the other shared relationship between the two 'taller than people' objects)
Husband: You're right. And where do we get wood?
(Proud parents leaning in with the drum roll, awaiting light bulb moment and son's jubilant, beaming pride when he brings his observation full circle and realizes that trees and houses have another connection)
Son: (With much enthusiasm) We get wood from houses!!!

And that is pretty much all you need to know about the GREEN-ness of our household. Yes, son, wood comes from houses. And plastic diapers are better than diamonds and composting is for suckers.

Standby for tomorrow's walk lesson: Two things that are nicer to the environment than your parents: Air conditioners and Hummers.