Grace-T

Yeah. That's her name on the street. Check her.



Let's just say, she doesn't like when we flash all of her cards. She likes to stay on a low profile. I can't say much about her, but I'll say this. She's ONE today. And scrappy as hell. So don't even think about a birthday card, cuz she'll eat it. Really. She will.

I'm her Luca Brazi. She's got me on hat detail for the big party.

She sent me these photos (of my own children—she deals in intimidation) to illustrate her level of expectation:

(Notes above each photo were added by GRACE-T)~

Sans hat is unacceptable. Please. Birthdays are about embellishment.




Plastic party hat is unacceptable. Please. Elastic? On this chin? Seriously?


Handmade. Now we're talking. But blue? Please. Purple, pink, and streamers out the top. Grace-T deals in high-volume.


Now, normally, I'm a pretty scrappy girl myself. Letting a one-year-old push me around isn't really my style. However, sometimes, during 'bored' meetings, I get breathy phone calls that make me a little nervous. Shortly after, my sister calls with an 'apology' that Grace-T got 'her hands' on the phone again. Let's just say that a one-year-old who can dial my number (regularly) makes me 'fall into line.'

Am off to stock up on purple and pink hat supplies. Whatever. Don't judge. She's unseasonably strong for a tiny baby. Lots of teeth, too.

P.S. It should be said that, yes, I am aware that this baby-centric post comes just one day after this one. But however I may feel about the type of 'love' that should befall the babies in my life, I sure do love 'em. Actually, I've been known to eat them right up. Which is why I need more. So aunties, get on it. Seven more, please.

P.P.S. To Grace-T's mommy,
Congratulations on surviving your first year. You're an amazing mommy. She's gorgeous. . .and healthy (too bad you have the saggy boobs to prove it). . .and smart enough to know to call her auntie regularly. . .and REALLY UNSEASONABLY STRONG. I wasn't just saying that. And (other than the longitudinally-challenged bossom, you look fantastic, too. Rockin' little body!) You're a hellofa mom, Baby J. Really. So proud. And so thankful for my Grace-T.

P.P.P.S. Could you assure Grace-T that I'm all over the hat and seriously no breathy phone calls are necessary today. Our president is starting to get suspicious.