The Hunt

Have spent the last few days looking around my sinking ship, bailed some half-hearted thimbles full of water, and finally harpooned my front lawn with a 'For Sale' sign.

Today, I regrouped. I pulled out my cover letter and resume and looked them over. I am ashamed to say that at one point in the latter (No, that is not intended to read 'letter,' read a book now and again. Really.), I actually used the term 'viable growth.' And I wonder why my ship is sinking in the land of fatally non-creative marketeers. No, I'll not dignify them with that title. They are simply 'marketers' who live and die by PowerPoint and bullet points. I say, "Live by the bullet point—die by the bullet point."

I have rallied. I have stepped off said sinking ship and will build a new raft. And I will give this raft a sail. But this sail of a cover letter will be painted with my true hand and show my colors, rather than that of the generic hues of 'viable growth.' Am feeling very Jerry McGuire right now—minus the gold fish. No dead weight, please.

I am determined to search the high cyber seas for voices that match my own. Have found one such voice IN THE WEST. Check out the copy in this ad for Interactive Copywriter at Publicis In the West.

I know. Right?

Am drafting my newly-hued sail below. Will be boldly honest. Please offer your thoughts, and do the same.

Post script. If any of you apply for this job, I will never speak to you again—until after my nap.



Dearest Publicis In the West,

You have asked if I "Wanna get in," and yes, yes, a thousand times yes—I do. The copy in your job post outshines most of what we are allowed to write for paying clients. So, again, YES. I wanna.

You had me at "It's one part Lewis and Clark" and "surrounded by Starbucks and the rivers, oceans, lakes and mountains."

Have considered forwarding letters of reference to speak on my behalf along with the obligatory bouquet of edible fruit, but have decided to send my driving record in their stead. The speeds registered within will assure you of the unlikely-hood of me driving "55" whilst IN THE WEST.

If it would help, will send mug shots. Kidding. My lawyer has advised that I not.

And, finally, I have included links below to other posts on this site that will illustrate my qualifications.

You have asked for "a super star Interactive Copywriter who’s webified, wired, wireless and well-connected to incorporate copywriting genius in a variety of interactive mediums" as well as "somebody with a sense of humor."

I submit this, and its follow-up, this.

You have asked for someone who is "pro-active – knowing everything starts with your own initiative."

I believe this and this speak volumes about my initiative and extremely professional 'nature.'

I have included a gratuitous sample of my pithy ad copy.

And, finally, you have asked for someone who wants to "live in Seattle and experience this amazing city."

I submit this.

If you are interested, please send word.

Salary requirements: One life boat and a lifetime membership to Starbucks. And maybe some snacks.

Sincerely,

Miss Ive