I had a dream last night that I was a serious business woman. It was so vivid that I awoke inspired. I grabbed the pad and pen on my night table and jotted a list of things I must change in my workday regime:1) When invited to sit in on serious strategy meetings, do not inquire about the likelihood of snacks being present.
2) When asked my opinion on marketing strategies for major corporations, do not use words like 'blog' or 'YouTube.'
3) And, finally, add articles to wardrobe that clearly say, 'serious business woman,' like shoes with tall, pointy heels that make lots of noise on linoleum floors and announce that I have 'arrived,' and shirts with buttons and collars that require at least a pedestrian familiarity with an iron.
When I left the house this morning, in buttons, freshly-pressed collar and one-inch heels, I was fully optimistic that I had been wise to keep my list short and reasonable. Baby steps.
Unfortunately, it seems, that even baby steps are challenging whilst trying to operate with ankles elevated to new heights, even ONE single inch higher. I believe my feet were suffering from altitude sickness, as there is no other way to explain why they could not perform the simple functions of 'clutch' and 'break' on the morning commute. The shoes lasted only five miles down the road before they were relegated to the passenger seat, where I could keep my eyes on their bewitching powers.
Though you can probably see where this is headed, I'll fill in gaps of the sequence of events that led to my inevitable fall from the 'serious business woman' wagon.
Arrived to work, list still in hand, ready to take on the day.
Checked rearview mirror for mussed hair or rogue breakfast remnants attached to my person.
Got halfway to the building before hot blacktop reminded me that I was still sans heels.
Got halfway BACK to car when president of company pulled into lot—spotting me—sans heels.
Have since restored the natural order to my workday routine and created new list.
1) Will refrain from allowing dreams to leave the bedroom.
2) Will maintain high expectations for snack-endowed meetings.
3) Will roam the office all day long sans heels to remind myself, and everyone else, just who the hell I think I am.
4 comments:
Too funny, Miss Ive!
Can I make a suggestion about wardrobe that doesn't require an iron?
These say "no-iron", and they really ARE no-iron. I have 4 of them that I rotate mon-thur when I have to wear "professional" clothes (thank SHEP for casual Fridays).
http://www.landsend.com/ix/womens-clothing/Women/Tops/Shirts-Blouses/Fabric=No-iron/index.html?seq=1~2~3~4~5&catNumbers=83~84~116&visible=1~2~1~1~1&store=le&sort=Recommended&pageSize=12&tab=2
If that doesn't work it is Lands End clothing, women's no-iron blouses. They are worth paying a little bit more for because you will NEVER have to iron them. Take them straight out of the dryer and hang them up, good to go.
I can't wear heels to work I walk too much outside, and right now its walking through ice and snow. In the summer when the weather allows I like my Sofft shoes
http://zeta.zappos.com/product/7440066/color/183092
They are as comfortable as flats, they are easy to walk in and don't give you blisters. Plus they are stinking cute.
OMG You said whilst! I stopped right there to register this comment, oh mighty umlauted twitterer!
I wear ugly shoes to show houses in Michigan in the winter. They slip off easily and keep my feet warm. Clients think I look strange until they struggle with their boots in the second house of the day and realize they will repeat this process in the next 10 houses.
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