If You Give A Kid An iPhone . . .

You'll never get it back.

First, they'll look at it skeptically. After all, if big people dig it, how cool could it be?


Then they'll find out the secret that all big people have been trying to hide from little people (and their bosses)
the world over—that the term 'phone' is a bit misleading, because when you have an iPhone you'll never have to talk to anyone in the real world ever again.

And then their tiny, innocent little fingers will accidentally brush the dancing array of colorful squares . . . What was I saying? Oh, yeah, they'll find what is known in the big people world as compu-crack.



And then their skeptical look will gloss into the all-powerful iGlaze.



And then it's too late. You'll never see your phone again. Just look at the grin.



Please forward all texts, Twitters, blog comments and emails for Miss Ive to old-fashioned Pony Express, because though she has tried diligently to retrieve said iPhone from said kid on numerous occasions, she has had her hand slapped more times than a Twittaholic refreshes her Twitter (Read: A Lot).