Jenny From The Block

Last time Miss Ive wrote about her friend Jenn, she thanked her politely (read: asked that she never do so again), and wished her luck with her future endeavors. But then she went and sent Miss Ive this for Christmas:



Yeah. She did.

And then, when Miss Ive called her, and she answered (read: Miss Ive has mastered the art of showing up as 'unknown caller' on Jenn's phone), she went and told Miss Ive that it was nothing, really. She just grabbed the photo off Miss Ive's Facebook page, blew it up, converted it to black and white, cut up a 2 by 6 in her basement (btw, Miss Ive would give her monkey's uncle to see her dainty friend Jenn lug around a 2 by 6, let alone operate a saw) . . .



. . . planed off the edges, threw on a bit of stain (with uber-cool, age-worn edges) . . .



. . . popped on an ole' bow and shot it off in the mail.

"No biggy," she says.

So now Miss Ive will no longer be taking calls from Jenn. Because though Miss Ive had long suspected it, prior to the photo block episode, she had no tangible proof that her friend was so far superior to her in every way. And Miss Ive has a reputation she's trying very hard (read: with the help of her attorney and four publicists) to uphold.

But since Miss Ive also suspects that many of her readers are also mildly (read: completely) superior to her, too, she may as well get the lot of them together, so they can trade bona fide crafty secrets and think of some way to bring poor Miss Ive up to their level.

Or, at the very least, how to successfully block her calls—once and for all.

If ya wanna talk blocks with Jenn, shoot her a note. Apparently, her Christmas gifts were such a success that word spread like wild fire and she's now on her way to fame and riches making these for everyone she knows, along with a few random child celebrities. JFree5303@yahoo.com. And if you're more clever than Miss Ive, you'll convince her to do one with a pic of her toting lumber and sawing blocks, especially for Miss Ive's wall of fame.